I'm having a blast from my past with this month's retro pie theme. This week's pie mission, should I decide to accept it, is to bake an impossible pie made with Bisquick®. First introduced by General Mills in 1931, this pre-mixed baking product helped cooks shave time off of their cooking preparation. Bisquick® gained a loyal following which spurred a flurry of "impossible pie" recipes, a boon to those who thought making the perfect pie crust was an impossible mission.
Before embarking on my mission, I consulted my trusted pie cookbook. Author Ken Haedrich made no mention of impossible pie which should have been an obvious clue for me to abandon this dubious mission. With no trusted recommendation from the Magi of Pie, I had no recourse but to conduct a self-guided internet reconnaissance. My sleuthing yielded an arsenal of impossible pie variations. Sifting through the multitude, I narrowed it down to a few promising candidates. With pie dossier in hand, I skeptically embarked on my solo mission with no IMF (Impossible Mission Force) to back me up. My homemade pastry crusts have been challenging and time-consuming but worth the effort. The impossible pie recipes make sweeping claims that a crust magically bakes into the pie. I find this impossible to believe.
My first attempt was impossible coconut pie. The recipe touted a mere six ingredients mixed in a blender, poured into a pie pan, and baked for 30 minutes. End result? The pie was quite possibly the most disappointing pie I've ever encountered. It began to self-destruct after only 20 minutes in the oven. It overbrowned and shriveled, its texture blubbery. I halfway expected it to emit smoke in its demise, just like the cassette tape player did in the original Mission Impossible television series. The worst part about this pie was that a magical crust did not appear.
I forged on with my second attempt, impossible cherry pie. This recipe followed the same protocol but with the addition of a streusel topping which gave it some promise. End result? A shrunken pie with a soggy bottom and an overly crunchy topping.
Still not impressed with this genre of pies, I continued experimenting. The third time was a charm, as charming as impossible pies can be possibly be. This recipe incorporated canned berry pie filling and a coconut streusel topping. I chose to bake it in a smaller capacity metal pie pan to minimize shrinkage and encourage a crust to form. End result? Still no obvious crust but the pie kept its shape and had a pleasant flavor.
My investigation into impossible pies yielded this conclusion: impossible pies are imposters. They are secretly cobblers and crisps operating under the deceptive cloak of pies. Be forewarned, impossible pies are a covert bunch, luring unsuspecting bakers into their web of deceit. However, if you are short on time and need to produce a quick dessert, an impossible pie recipe will suffice.
In conclusion, there's an obvious reason Ken Haedrich evaded impossible pies. I imagine his ominous warning: "As always, should you fail in your impossible pie mission, I disavow any knowledge of your actions. Good luck. This message will self destruct in five seconds."
IMPOSSIBLE BERRY PIE
1 cup milk
2 tablespoons butter, softened
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
2 eggs
1/2 cup Bisquick® baking mix
1/4 cup sugar
1 (21-ounce) canned berry pie filling (I used 1/2 can of cherry and 1/2 can of blueberry)
Streusel:
1/2 cup Bisquick® baking mix
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup sweetened grated coconut
2 tablespoons firm butter
Mix Bisquick®, brown sugar, cinnamon, and coconut together. Cut in butter until crumbly.
Preheat oven to 400 degress. Grease a 9-inch pie pan. Place all ingredients except pie filling and streusel in a blender and mix on high speed for 15 seconds. Pour into pie pan. Spoon berry filling evenly over top. Bake 25 minutes, remove from oven and top with streusel. Bake for an additional 7-10 minutes until streusel is golden brown. Remove from oven. Serve warm with ice cream or whipped cream.
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